I'll be your detonator.

[madesomenoise]

It makes sense when she texts him and asks if she can come over. The hallucinations have passed but Poison's got the aftermath of whatever Jack was dealing with to sort through and Girl...she finds that she has somewhere else she doesn't mind being.

She turns up at Carson's door with her backpack slung on her shoulder, her hair pulled back into pigtails. She'd just wanted to get or of the house for a while - that's the only plan that she had. She knocks his door and then leans her forehead against it while she waits for him to answer.

Mostly, she's just exhausted.
She'd thought being scared was behind her.

Comments

[boywhoflew]

To be honest, Carson had been pacing pretty much since confirming that Dee was welcome to come over.

Something about her texts had seemed off, something he couldn't put his finger on. But as much as he wanted to over analyze and try to pick apart every character in her messages, she was coming over, and he didn't even know what to expect. He'd run down to the nearest hole in the wall Chinese place he could find and gotten a few things to go, taken five minutes to haphazardly clean up his living room, and by the time he hears the first few whispered knocks on his door he's reached the point where he was just standing in front of the couch with a frown, trying to decide if he had time to shower.

No such luck.

With a deep breath he raked a hand through his hair and went to open the door, stopping when the first thing he sees is a slip of a girl buried in layers, looking far more like a teenage runaway than some kind of symbol of rebellion. "Hey," he greeted, scrubbing his free hand on the rough denim of his jeans nervously before taking a step back. "C'mon in. Everything okay?"

[madesomenoise]

He opens the door and Girl barely hesitates for a moment before she steps through it, keeps going until she can press her face into his chest, her arm sneaking around his waist. Tears threaten, stinging in the corner of her eyes. She's fine. Everything's fine. Val Velocity didn't bleed through. So why does she feel like she's clinging on to him for dear life?

"I'm okay," she says, the words coming out muffled. "I'm fine."

[boywhoflew]

As much as he'd been thinking something might be wrong, he hadn't been expecting that. For a second all he could do was freeze, his arms floating uselessly before they hesitantly found purchase on her back, his hand absently rubbing in the same way his grandmother had done for him when he was little. Hugging wasn't really a thing, or at least it hadn't been in a long time, but something had obviously happened and if she needed that, then he could reciprocate as best as he could.

"Oh yeah, you're just peachy." He muttered, lightly smoothing his palm over the space between her shoulder blades and ignoring the warm weight of her arm around his waist. "No bullshit, Dee. What's going on?"

[madesomenoise]

"I was hallucinating for a while?" She says, pulling back from him but just enough that she can look up, her arm still tight around him. "I thought Poison was Val Velocity. I thought P was..." She frowns. "I thought he was dead? I just...I'm fine? I just need to not be there and not think about it for a while. He knows I'm here. It's fine."

[boywhoflew]

One eyebrow rose in surprise and concern made himself stop and consider that. Darrow was a difficult enough place as it was, and as much as his first instinct was to think something was wrong, that she was sick and should go see a doctor, the fact that Darrow played as many cruel tricks as it did made him pause. Prom alone had been proof enough of the kind of cruel trickery the city played, same as the series of voicemails he had gotten from home, and while hallucinations were nothing to play around with, there was always the chance that it might be temporary if not awful.

"Shit," he murmured, rubbing her back a little firmer. "Okay, I get that. You wanna come inside? I got food. We can watch mindless TV or cat videos online or something and just not think for awhile."

[madesomenoise]

Girl sniffs, a little teary around the edges and wipes at her face with the heels of her hands, the cuffs of Jack's soft, ash grey cardigan. She butts her forehead gently against his chest and then nods, pulling away slightly.

"That sounds really good," she says, laughing a little as she wipes her face again. "Jesus. One date and you're already having to deal with this shit. Seriously, Carson, I'll understand if you just want me to go home."

[boywhoflew]

"Nah," he said shaking his head. It was different to see the girl he only knew is flashy skirts and red lipstick so wrapped up and simple, but there was a strange sort of appeal to it, especially when she looked up at him like that.

"Crazy hallucinations are nothing. If you want a real downer, I'll let you listen to the voicemails where my mom is crying over my death. Those are a serious heart warmer." His hands moved from cradling her back to resting lightly on her shoulders, and he wondered if the fact he still found her to be ridiculously pretty when halfway to tears made him a creep. "But seriously. This place loves to fuck with us, so I get it." Hesitating a moment, he mentally shrugged and dropped a soft peck against the corner of her lips. "C'mon. We can just chill and pretend this place doesn't suck."

[madesomenoise]

The combination of the kiss and his hands on her is calming and Girl finds herself starting to settle. She nods, stepping into the apartment properly. She drops her bag next to the door and bends to take off her boots. She shrugs out of her hoodie.

"Whatever food you got smells amazing," she says, trying to figure out her way back to herself. "Did you get me a soda too?"

[boywhoflew]

Carson closed the door quietly behind her and turned the deadbolt. There was something inherently odd about a girl in his apartment, particularly one shrugging out of her oversized hoodie and boots, but there was something so comfortable about it as well that for a moment he was genuinely stumped. Scratching idly at his neck he shrugged and reached to take her sweatshirt from her and hang it on the wall-hook.

"In the fridge. I got you a full two-liter." He agreed, a smirk quirking at the edges of his mouth. "There's Chinese food, too. I just grabbed what looked good. So, you're stuck with pepper chicken or sweet and sour pork." He raised on shoulder. "And noodles. You hungry now or do you just want to take a minute and settle in?"

[madesomenoise]

"Oh, man, you're definitely a keeper," says Girl, smiling up at him. "Both of those sound good. Pretty sure I've ordered them with P." She frowns, genuinely thinking about it for a moment. "Yeah, I think I'm hungry."

[boywhoflew]

He was willing to bet that was the first time anyone had ever described him as a keeper, which was a stark contrast to the usual asshole and mistake. Paired with her smile and her still misty eyes it made a weird jumble of nerves flip-flop in his stomach and he gave in to the small smile that tugged at his lips.

"Food, then." He agreed, hesitating before settling his hand in the small of her back and guiding her towards the kitchen. "C'mon. There's cups in the cabinet and ice in the freezer. Want to grab the soda while I make the plates?"

[madesomenoise]

That's something manageable that she can do and his hand in the small of her back is a comfort, warm through the thin cotton of her t-shirt. She lets him guide her and then she goes through the motions of getting cups, ice, soda. She leans back against the counter and watches him quietly.

"Thank you," she says. "For letting me come. I...there's other people, but you were the first one I thought of."

[boywhoflew]

He wasn't sure if she was hungry or hungry, so he decided to start with smaller plates with the option of second helpings. He gives her a little of everything, tucks a plastic wrapped fortune cookie onto the edge of the plate, and when he hears her voice he glances back at her, suddenly very aware of the small space of the kitchen and how she looks there, simple in jeans and her hair pulled back.

He doesn't know why, but he can't help but think she looks like she fits the space.

"Yeah, of course." He said, turning and leaning his hip against the counter. "I mean. I understand needing to get out, find a different place to be." He raised on shoulder. "And selfishly, I wanted to see you soon anyway. It just sucks you had this shit to deal with first."

[madesomenoise]

"We're not talking about it, remember?" she says, picking up the glasses of soda and carrying them over to him. "We're hanging out, watching TV, maybe making out a little." She says it all in the same tone of voice, a smile tugging at the corner of her mouth as she glances up at him. "Date number two. Where do you want to eat?"

[boywhoflew]

"Right," Carson agreed, the last part of that slipping by unnoticed until he paused and did a quick double take. Her tone was light and her smile teasing, and he quirked on in response even when he felt the familiar heat start to creep up his neck and into his ears. Grabbing a couple of forks from the drawer he set them on the plates before picking them up and turning to her properly.

"Couch," he decided. "If we're doing this lazy night in, we're doing it properly. If you play your cards right, I might even let you control the remote."

[madesomenoise]

"Couch," says Girl, smiling when he starts blushing again. She turns and walks out into his living room, setting the sodas down on the low table before she folds herself onto the couch, holding out her hands for the place that he fixed for her. She folds herself into one corner of the couch and waits for him to settle. "Shit. You're a gentleman and everything."

She feels a million miles away from earlier, how upset she'd been, how scared. She can pretend it never happened.

[boywhoflew]

"Oh, yeah. I'm a regular gentleman all right." He snorted with a roll of his eyes, passing her plate to her before settling onto the cushion next to her. She's tucked into the corner and he's just off center and they aren't touching, but he's aware of the bend of her legs and her feet tucked up onto the cushions, or the way that if he just scooted to the side they'd be pressed together.

Clearing his throat he reached for his glass, happy for the brief burn of sugar and carbonation as a distraction. Grabbing the remote he flicked it the television on, and while his cable package was basic out of necessity, it was still enough to channel surf. "Okay," he said, balancing his plate on his thigh. "What are we in the mood for?"

[madesomenoise]

Girl's pleased when he doesn't just sit down at the other end of the couch. She rolls her shoulder in a shrug, taking the first bite of her food and just watching him for a moment. She's getting used to that weird flutter of nerves when she's around him, the way it seems to sit alongside feeling perfectly comfortable.

"Whatever you want," she says. "Something I don't have to concentrate too hard on."

[boywhoflew]

"Something mindless," Carson agreed, and while that was normally the opposite of his preference for entertainment, he didn't actually watch the news one hundred percent of the time. He surfed through the channels diligently, pausing here or there on a nature documentary or a re-run of some old comedy sitcom, and finally settled on one of those adult comedy cartoons that was blatantly ripping off The Simpsons.

"Here," he said, taking a distracted bite of his food as he scrutinized the screen. "Bright colors, jokes every two minutes, and the plot is impossible to keep up with anyway. I call that about as mindless as we can get."

[madesomenoise]

"Perfect." Girl picks at her food for a few minutes, eating all of the interesting bits and then she leans forward to put her plate down. She hesitates for a moment before she shuffles closer, pressing her arm against his. Right then, what she really needs is closeness. She digs gum out of her bag and chews, absently.

[boywhoflew]

He didn't even bother pretending to watch the show. Instead he focussed on eating his food, on taking sips from his soda, all too aware of Dee just to the side of him. It felt creepy, but he watched her idly from the corner of his eye between bites, mindful of her body language and checking to see if she seemed tense or uncomfortable. When her plate clicked on the table and she shuffled in closer the most he could do was mechanically finish eating before setting his plate down beside her's and hesitating, her body warm and soft from where it was just slightly pressed against his side.

It felt like at any second he was going to take some horrible wrong turn. Every sentence had the chance to be a grenade, every move a landmine. But she pressed in before he could even consider reaching for her, and it was as much a relief as it was terrifying. With a slow inhale he leaned back against the cushions and stretched out his legs, his eyes glued to the screen even if he had no idea what was happening in the show.

After a beat had passed he decided being a coward had never been his style, and in a cautious movement he carefully slipped his arm around her, lightly tugging her in closer.

[madesomenoise]

He puts his arm around her and it's the easiest thing to sway in against him, to press her cheek against his chest and let himself be comforted. She sighs, still chewing her gum. Cautiously, she shifts until she's tucked in against him, still curled up. Her arm slips across his waist.

"This is nice."

[boywhoflew]

This is cuddling. It occurred to him, and his heartbeat had taken on an odd rhythm, one he was painfully aware of. She was tiny enough that when she curled and pressed in that she fit in almost perfectly, with no errant elbows to the ribs or knocking knees. Just the warm press of her tucked up against his side, her head against his chest and her arm around his waist, his arm curled around to cradle her back.

It was weird. It was weird and vaguely terrifying, and warm. She was close enough that when she speaks he can almost feel the vibrations and it makes that nervous flutter in his stomach clench up.

"It is," he agreed, his voice steady but soft. "Do you need anything or are you good so far?"

[madesomenoise]

"So far so good," she says, enjoying the warm, solid press of him under her cheek. She can feel how, underneath his clothes, his slender without being hard; she likes the slight softness of his belly, contrasted with his chest under her cheek. She idly plays with the hem of his t-shirt, her fingers slipping up under the hem of soft cotton to brush against his bare skin. "Doing okay?"

Somehow, she doesn't think either of them are used to that.

[boywhoflew]

Carson started the tiniest bit at the surprise of her fingers under his shirt. The brush of warm skin is startling and foreign, it takes a lot of his willpower to not freeze and tense up over how unexpected it is. All at once it feels equal parts benign and frightening, barely anything but also too much. It takes a second for him to blink and remember to breathe, a slow careful inhale through his nose. The touch is light enough to almost be ticklish and despite himself he couldn't help but squirm, the now familiar burn of heat rising up into his ears.

Clearing his throat he nodded just a little, the arm around her giving a small squeeze even as he obsessed over the touch on his skin, what it meant, if it meant anything at all, and if it did mean something if he was even ready for it. "All good," he agreed even if his heart was still beating an unsteady rhythm and his palms were already starting to sweat and itch. With an anchoring and slow inhale through his nose he forced the nervous stiffness in his muscles to relax. Dipping his chin he regarded the top of her head from where she was still pressed to his chest. "I'm glad you came over."